So a while back (right about the time that everyone was up in arms about caffeinated alcoholic beverages here in my home state of Connecticut) I discovered an entirely new and even more possibly dangerous product. Alcoholic whipped cream. I’ve since tried the disgusting concoction, but at the time it was unavailable here. A quick Google search lead me to a company called “Whipped Lightning” and I quickly fired off this crank-email:
When and where in the CT area please? Just heard the good news about your product! Any recipes to go with the cases of 4Loko I’m saving for the apocalypse..?
Talk about missing the point, the response email didn’t even get my state right:
Whipped Lightning is not currently available in CT but we expect to be speaking with distributors there soon. However, you may be able to order product online from Shoppers Vineyard. They are a New Jersey retailer that will ship product. You can find them at www.shoppersvineyard.com or call 973-916-0707.
We actually haven’t developed any recipes using 4Loko on purpose, we don’t want to be associated with a product that is likely to be declared illegal nationwide by the Feds if it hasn’t already.
In the meantime we have a Facebook page “Whipped Lightning”, I’m hoping you will become a Fan. This will be an easy way for me to let you know when product is available in Ohio as well as about product updates like the release of new flavors. We will be posting our recipe cards and adding to them all the time with drinks we come up with as well as suggestions from our Fans.
Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks for your interest in Whipped Lightning.
Paul Urbanowicz, Chief Whipalogist
Maybe you won’t find this whole exchange as funny as I do, but I needed someplace to put the whole thing so I could (in good conscience) delete it from my inbox…
P.S. Alcoholic whipped cream is both disgusting and dangerous… It’s just a gimmick & a bad one at that… Seriously, don’t even bother…